person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
me: nope
person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
me: i'm not

amu-baqi:

when you refuse to look at your bank account balances and pretend like everything is ok

nakedly:

you are not fat
you have fat 
you also have fingernails 
you are not fingernail 

crystallized-teardrops:

It’s the fckn worst when you accidentally close a tab

guy:

i hate it when a sentence doesn’t end the way i think it octopus

fight-0ff-yourdem0ns:

I just wanna have abs…olutely all the pasta and breadsticks

virguin:

how can i be ready for future when i’m not even ready to get up in the morning

bluebackstabber:

should i attend college or take the black

nyozeka:

i hope my first child is a dragon

ghore:

I’m on a new diet called don’t fucking look at me